r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 8d ago Wholesome

Discussion International Men’s Day Discussion Thread: Celebrating Men and Masculinity by Challenging Patriarchal Expectations

405 Upvotes

Note: This post was discussed and approved by the mods prior to being posted.

Hello again to all the kind folks of this wonderful sub! Today is International Men’s Day!

International Men’s Day was created to help create awareness about men’s physical and mental health and celebrate their contribution to families and communities. It’s undeniable that we live in patriarchal societies designed to (usually) keep a small number of wealthy men in power. When discussing the topic of the patriarchy, we often explore the abuse, exploitation, subjugation, and discrimination faced by women in these systems, but sometimes overlook the devastating impact that these systems have on men and boys throughout their life.

From infancy, boys quickly learn from their environment that there are steep expectations that need to be met if you’re ever going to be considered a “real man.” You must be constantly productive, wealthy, muscular, heterosexual, tall, smart, talented, and confident in everything you do. Attributes like artistic creativity, emotional intelligence, empathy, caretaking, open-mindedness, emotional vulnerability, or even a love for cooking or dance are actively smothered in young boys in favor of the previously mentioned masculine traits. To say nothing of men with mental or physical conditions that leave them severely-restricted or unable to contribute to society in traditionally masculine ways. Where does this leave us? With generation after generation of men and boys who never even learned that it’s OK to experience the wide spectrum of emotions, and that replacing vulnerable emotions with rage, ego, or stoicism is preferred to looking weak for even a moment. At the same time, many men are being conditioned to feel entitled to relationships and sex, two things that require emotional vulnerability, empathy, open-mindedness, and an ability to work collaboratively. When entitlement like this meets unpreparedness, confusion, anger, and heartbreak are often all that’s left in the end.

Masculinity is not inherently toxic. Men are good. Men have been responsible for some of the greatest inventions and advancements in the history of our species. Men are capable of phenomenal acts of kindness, empathy, and compassion. Patriarchal systems push a toxic version of masculinity because it is understood that emotionally intelligent men are FAR more dangerous to the status quo than those that have been told to “man up” and quietly suffer. What we do moving forward will determine the type of world future generations grow up in.

So I’ll put forward a few questions:

- What are some non-traditional examples of healthy masculinity that you’ve seen or heard about?

- How do you personally differentiate between masculinity and toxic masculinity.

- Did you grow up seeing or experiencing any bizarre expectations for men in your area (growing up it was cool for guys to skateboard, but rollerblading was seen as “gay”)?

- Who do you think is a well-known person who embraces healthy masculinity.


r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 3d ago Helpful Quality Witch

Holidays Resources to Aid and Support US Indigenous Populations This Thanksgiving

127 Upvotes

Hello WvP Coven:

This Thursday is observed as Thanksgiving in the United States. As members of WvP, intersectionality is one of our core values, though we know that many people will still have obligations to observe the holiday with family. Even if these family gatherings are strictly family-oriented, and even if the revised history of the day is not mentioned in any way, it can be deeply uncomfortable and upsetting for those of us who know the harm that revisionism has done. These celebrations can also be traumatic for our members and friends with Indigenous heritage. Thanksgiving Day has alternatively been observed as a National Day of Mourning since 1970. The following day is Black Friday, a frenzy of consumerism, which can distract further from anti-colonial messaging.

As such, we think it important to provide resources to members who would like to learn about and support the Indigenous populations who were – and still are – on the land that has been occupied for hundreds of years. Below are links for education, organizations and initiatives to support, and lists of shops run by Indigenous artisans. Please explore them, contribute where you can, and boost their visibility where you are able.

Please also feel free to add links to other sites or compilation threads in the comments.

Be well, be kind, and take good care.


First, here is the most comprehensive map I know of for people to find whose land they are currently living on. It appears to include tribes that are not yet recognized by state or federal governments, which is impressive. You can use this to look up, learn about, and donate directly to that tribe. https://native-land.ca/

Orgs and Resources:

Food Sovereignty Initiatives:

Shops by Indigenous Creators:


r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 13h ago Narwhal Salute Dread Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Burn the Patriarchy Facts are facts

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27.6k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 2h ago Heartwarming

Familiars We're so lucky

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574 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 13h ago Silver Masterpiece

Discussion Growing out my grey hair and my mom won’t stop criticizing me

1.3k Upvotes

I’m 34 years old and I’ve been going grey since I was 16. Everyone in my family on both sides went grey early, so it’s genetic. I’ve been dying my hair since then without any breaks.

My mother has always told me to dye my hair to hide the grey or else I will be ugly. Whenever my roots were showing, she’d yell at me and ask my why I’ve been neglecting my looks. I’m very average looking and far from a stunner. I’ve been with my partner for years and he told me that doesn’t care about if my hair is grey.

It’s been a huge insecurity for me for years. I feared that I would be ugly, or treated differently because of my hair.

I am now a new mom with an infant girl and it made me think a lot about how we raise girls and young women. I never want her to feel insecure about her looks or that she needs to change herself to be perceived as beautiful. I thought a lot about it and I decided that I wanted to ditch the dye and just go grey. I hated feeling like my roots were showing, seeing the line of demarcation, and I just didn’t like the way the dye looked anymore. I want to see my natural silver shine through.

I went on IG and saw a lot of young women with grey hair and they look fantastic. I’m no where near as beautiful as them, but that’s okay because I’m not a model. I just wanted to see other young women with grey hair and feel confident.

I haven’t dyed my hair since July 2022. The process is so hard. It’s also very isolating because I don’t have any peer support for those going through the same thing. I’m having a really difficult time with it and I don’t have much support. My husband said he really loves my grey, but he’s never said anything negative about my looks. My friend also told me she likes it, but again, she’s my friend and I don’t think she would say it looks bad. However my mom has criticized me so much over it and we’ve even gotten in arguments over my hair being fucking naturally grey. She had literally yelled at me and gotten angry that I’ve told her I’m not dying it anymore.

Today my mom came over to my new home (we just moved) and I was showing her all the renovations we did. I could tell she wasn’t paying attention and she just was looking at me and scowling. I was talking about my kitchen and she said “This is the style of an old woman” and I said “What? How is this kitchen an old woman style?” And she said “No! Your hair! Go dye it! Or else your husband will go find a younger woman!”

That moment I felt like a shrivelled up troll. I held it together until she left and now I’m just sulking. Going grey is already so hard. Being told I’m ugly by my own mom just makes it even harder. People don’t understand how much of a challenge this is. I know that people are going to think I’m my daughter’s grandmother. I know it might impact my career opportunities. But I can’t just keep dying it forever like my mom does. It’s not sustainable physically, mentally or financially. This is something I want to show her that you can love yourself and be confident in who you are. It’s also a form of radical self acceptance. I even tell my mom that she’s just jealous because I’m free and am not bound to dying my hair every 2 weeks. My hair is also much softer and shinier at the roots now. I’d like to tone with or use purple shampoo once it’s more grown own to get it to look better, but for now I’m really trying my best to make it look okay.

TL;DR - I’m growing out my grey hair and am not hiding my roots anymore, and my mom is criticizing me for it dying my hair and is constantly calling me ugly for i

EDIT: We’ll this post certainly blew up more than I thought it would. I want to thank everyone for the kind messages supporting me in my choice to go grey. It really helps me feel better and more confident that I can be confident with my greys. I wish I could see all you fellow silver foxes out in the world and give you a friendly smile and nod.

If anyone can recommend some products that help make grey/silver hair look better I am more than open to suggestions! I am interested in any toner or purple conditioner to make it sparkle ✨


r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 13h ago Silver

Selfie Sorcery I'm actively trying to lose weight (medically necessary) and being in a smaller body is actually making me fearful in a couple ways. I hate that I could write a paper on all the ways weighing less makes me feel like I'm in danger at all times

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1.2k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 5h ago

Marketplace Hey guys! Do you remember me? I made another witch. She's collecting herbs ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

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283 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1d ago Silver Take My Money

Marketplace I carved hairpins from the antler. They turned out very unusual.

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10.7k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 16h ago hehehehe Table Slap Helpful

Discussion I am an Autistic male, who is attracted to men, but not interested in sex. I don't have a safe community.

1.5k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 2h ago

Burn the Patriarchy Legit burned our bras last night

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118 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1h ago

Witchy Crafts My best friend makes the most magical, witchy handmade clothing from bamboo/hemp fabrics and you should know about her. @rabbitspath

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r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1d ago Helpful

Burn the Patriarchy I'M FREE... ish. Help me choose a new last name so I don't take my father's last name

5.7k Upvotes

I ended my 6 year marriage the other day. We're still cohabitating unfortunately. I've been a stay at home mom at their request for 4 years. They're "gracious" enough to allow me to keep living here in the house we bought together until I get on my feet. Eye roll.

I'm trying to focus on the things I'm excited about that's coming up for me. One of those things is getting to change my last name. I don't want to go back to my father's last name, so I need a new one. Ideas?

Edit: y'all are amazing and have given me lots of ideas. Going back to a woman ancestor my great grandmother killed herself when my grandfather was 2 years old. She suffered PPD and had a pos husband as well. I've always felt very connected to her given my history with mental health and a POS partner. Maybe I'll take her last name.

Thank you all! I appreciate all of your ideas and I have so much brain storming to do. Love you amazing humans!


r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1h ago

Gender Magic Use your deadname as a curse my trans witches!

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r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 9h ago

Meme Craft Baphomet is my medicine.

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254 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 20h ago

Marketplace Emotional support demons 🖤

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1.7k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 2h ago

Art me chilling with my latest artworks

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43 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 13h ago

Burn the Patriarchy I made a shirt inspired by a protest sign I saw here. My new favourite shirt!

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322 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 17h ago

Meme Craft My cat always soothes my pagan soul.

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571 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 7h ago

Art Just wanted to share this Angel I drew 🥺

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83 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 27m ago

Marketplace Some of my favorite original witch paintings! I’ve had a few for a long time and they could use a nice home.

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r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 23h ago

Modern Witches Anyone else ✨ need ✨ this mug? Or is it just me?

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1.2k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 21h ago

Familiars Help with botanical name ideas for my new familiar!

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730 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 18h ago

Burn the Patriarchy I love this sticker. What are your favorites? Also, this is my first post so hi to all fellow ✨witches✨

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437 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 18h ago

Familiars I love everything about this artists image, it belongs here

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390 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 1d ago

Tarot Lol.. really?

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1.1k Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 12h ago

Selfie Sorcery Me with my familiar Juno

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115 Upvotes

r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 30m ago

Fledgling Witch Overheard at a bridal shop

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"Of course I'm not changing my name! I'm signing a partnership agreement, not selling myself into slavery!"