r/WhitePeopleTwitter Aug 13 '22 Take My Energy 1 Silver 3 Wholesome 2 Helpful 4 Powerups Post 1

I will be for real this time!

Post image
66.7k Upvotes

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u/BwackGul Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Shut up Verne.

And you are not invited to the cook out, grandma said.

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

THAT'S NOT FAIR!

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u/PerniciousPeyton Aug 13 '22

States will secede if I am not invited to the cook out.

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u/Rich-Ad5109 Aug 13 '22 Take My Energy

I kid you not I was 5 seconds away from saying the same exact thing lol. Lavern shut your mouth with thag nonsense and your cookout ticket is revoked lmao

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u/TurdManMcDooDoo Aug 13 '22

This right wing meltdown is fucking glorious.

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u/punkindle Aug 13 '22

If they don't love this country, they can move to Russia.

Secession is traitor talk

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u/twisted7ogic Aug 13 '22

Militant Nationalism, christofascist patriarchy, kleptocrats and oligarchs, oppresion of dissent... why move to Putin's Russia when they are halfway done turning the US into the same.

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u/MugOfButtSweat Aug 13 '22 Silver Wholesome

You mean All the red states that run significant deficits? What ever shall we do

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u/leftynate11 Aug 13 '22

That’s not very fiscally-responsible, Republican of them…is it?

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u/Jamkindez Aug 13 '22

Taking someone elses money? Sounds perfectly republican to me

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u/SpokenDivinity Aug 13 '22

But remember, it’s not their fault. It’s the immigrants and the illegals as if they could tell the difference

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u/Lil_Artemis_92 Aug 13 '22 Helpful

OK. Bye!

If you need a roadmap, look to Brexit. That’s going swimmingly. 😉

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u/RebootItAgain Aug 13 '22

It would be far worse than Brexit for these self labeled, “patriots”. Majority of red states feed off the government way more than they contribute regardless of the horseshit they’re fed on Fox and through their fw: fw: fw: fw: circles.

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u/Mechhammer Aug 13 '22

Texas can't keep the power on. In an energy producing state. Morons would run outta ice if they ran Alaska...

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u/Lazy_Osprey Aug 13 '22

YEP! The blue states pay for the majority of red states.

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u/Knightowle Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

If they seceded, Texas would be asked to take over that role or their new “country” would collapse.

Texas. The other red states would be relying on Texas to implement (edit: maybe ‘accept’ would be a better word) enough progressive policies to keep their roads in repair and their people from dying from medical bankruptcy or the outrageous prices on food, clothing, and building supplies caused by new tariffs and lack of international trade agreements and access to global shipping lanes. (Biden’s Infrastructure plan includes money to build out America’s third major port access in the Gulf in Texas, but if the red states seceded, that would of course stop.)

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

And then within 30 days of announcing that they want to secede Texas will once again need a government handout because their systems do not work.

Edit: I would like to be clear. I am speaking more about the politicians and the Meal Team Six folks. It is quite clear that the majority of people do not want anything of this nature.

Also, thank you for all of the great conversation. It has given a distraction during some rough times.

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u/Previousman755 Aug 13 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

I would like to see AZ, FL and TX economies when Social security checks and military pensions stop due to secession

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u/pastelbutcherknife Aug 13 '22

And straight up welfare. Texas and Florida are #2 and #3 respectively in number of people receiving benefits.

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u/saurons-cataract Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

And Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, etc…. ALL the red states. I’d love it if they placed out, then we’d get to actually keep our money instead of investing it into failed states with shitty policies. If your state can’t function without government subsidies, you’ve failed. Welfare Queens indeed.

edit: I’ve gotten too many messages to respond to, so let me clarify. I do not want a secession, and I actually think it’s terrifying that these threats are coming more often. Politicians who egg the base on are irresponsible aholes because they KNOW their states couldn’t function, but they rile up the base to score political point. They know it won’t work but the base doesn’t and that is dangerous.
It IS true that red states take more money out than they put in, and my overly-taxed ass is irritated with people voting against their own interests over and over again in the name of tribal politics. And if these states expect to keep getting blue state money then they need to use the money for food, education, infrastructure, technology, etc and actually put policies in place for the people they represent. I don’t resent money going to help the people in need; I resent red states getting federal dollars and then letting corporations like Tesla, Walmart get tax write offs, state government subsidies, and then not care that these businesses don’t pay people a living wage.

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u/Draxilar Aug 13 '22

My entire extended family lives in south Mississippi, they are all trumpers who complain about people just stealing welfare checks, they are almost all on welfare. Smart bunch

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u/lakired Aug 13 '22 Silver

who complain about black people just stealing welfare checks

That's the fix that makes it all make sense. It wasn't ever about welfare. It was always about who was getting the welfare.

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u/BudTheWonderer Aug 13 '22

One of the most ironic things I've ever seen was a picture, in a news story about a protest against a Democrat lawmaker, of a protester with a handmade sign saying: "you liberals better keep your hands off my social security!"

The politician in question had always voted for social security, in general.

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u/bathyorographer Aug 13 '22

Except for the lost Cajun food in Louisiana, I’d be okay with this

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u/Lil-Strong Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Starry

I’ll move up north and cook for y’all!

EDIT: Wow! Thank y’all so much for the upvotes and awards! Very unexpected!

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Now we're fucking talking!

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u/LividPeon Aug 13 '22

Cajun Patriots Bar & Grill

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Seriously. Will trade Cajun cooking in exchange for getting me out of this state.

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u/FastSquirrel Aug 13 '22

I'm sure the Acadians would love to have you back with your fresh new cooking knowledge. Come on back up here in the Canadian Maritimes! New Brunswick is far from overcrowded.

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u/QuietGrudge Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Helpful

Crawfish Etouffe for me please. Extra spicy!

And I'll throw in an extra $20 for a few beignets with some raspberry /rhubarb jam. Powdered sugar drizzle!

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u/PutTheBiInBitch Aug 13 '22

Petition to drag the entire food side of new orleans to the north

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u/GrunkleStanWasRight Aug 13 '22

Oddly enough a lot of Cajuns wander up to the PNW. So it will survive.

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u/AWOLcowboy Aug 13 '22 Silver

Hey now FL has a chance, it's split 50/50 pretty much right now. All the major cities voted blue. Until DeSantis re-drew the districts in favor of the republican party. Speaking of, that dude is the real threat. Trump is a clown, DeSantis is a politician, crap he has already pushed thru down here is nuts.

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u/QueenCuttlefish Aug 13 '22

Central Florida resident here. Fuck Ron DeScrotum.

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u/WhoIsFrancisPuziene Aug 13 '22

Ohio is showing you what the future is…

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

These people have no idea what they would lose.

Edit: When I say "These people", I am referring to the Trump supporters, or the ones who are calling for this stupid idea, or the leaders therein. Not the people stuck geographically.

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u/Green_Message_6376 Aug 13 '22 Silver Wholesome Heartwarming

even after losing it they'd have no idea. y'know object permanence..

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u/HollowVoices Aug 13 '22

And somehow it will all be Democrats' fault.

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u/Raincoats_George Aug 13 '22

At some point you have to move on with your life. There are many of us that have 'that' family member. This is a national family member that needs to be cut out of the picture.

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u/StoicJ Aug 13 '22

Ironically, doing so would create a refugee crisis as they tried to flee back to the Union states as the local economy absolutely implodes.

They'd manage to not see themselves as refugees and still continue demanding the US close it's borders the instant they were safe.

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u/LunchBox0311 Aug 13 '22

I feel like we'd need to put up some kind of barrier at the new border. Like, I don't know, a wall or something.

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u/potatohats Aug 13 '22

And make Texas pay for it!

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u/Blazlyn Aug 13 '22

Texas would build it thinking it would keep everyone else out from TheGreatState^TM but in reality it would get half built and lose funding because the oil would no longer be an export

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u/bobafoott Aug 13 '22

With all the guns they have, I don't think I'd want to let any in. Wouldn't want. A dangerous one sneaking in.

Reminds me of that bowl of skittles metaphor they used for Muslim refugees where one is poisonous

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u/Raincoats_George Aug 13 '22

Look we can't take all these welfare cases on. A bunch of conservatives with newborns they were forced to have? I mean where does it end. Are we going to let them claim citizenship? It's outrageous. If they can't take care of their own people well that's not our problem. Let's bus them to Texas. I think it's only right.

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u/lastprophecy Aug 13 '22

I remember someone once saying: "They're not sending their best..."

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u/Kindly_Spell7356 Aug 13 '22

and then they could be put on a bus and sent to the streets of dc as a lesson they believe in for refugees

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u/Aperture_Tales Aug 13 '22

It would be Brexit all over again 😂

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

Would you say... Texit? (Sounds like a shitty gas station.)

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Same thing with civil war. It's not an episode of CSI. It's a humanitarian crisis that will take hundreds of years to recover from.

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u/Shopping-Critical Aug 13 '22

From AZ here - I don't think our State would collectively want to secede. Some may, but vast amounts of folk would not.

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u/Archercrash Aug 13 '22

Nor do most Texans. The cities are growing and all vote blue.

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u/1ndiana_Pwns Aug 13 '22

I said it in 2020 and I'll say it again every election cycle: Blue Texas is my number one kink

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u/NoName_BroGame Aug 13 '22

If Texas ever goes blue, the electoral college will finally be done away with, because there's no way a Republican would ever be elected president again.

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u/pizzaplanetvibes Aug 13 '22

Texas, Florida and North Carolina had their closest races for President in a long time in 2020. Georgia went blue and Ds won two special elections when previously they won 0. Don’t count out the whole South.

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u/Downwhen Aug 13 '22

Correct. My county went for Biden - first time we've gone Democrat in the presidential election in decades

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u/LGodamus Aug 13 '22

Elect Beto and show the nation

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u/superyu7 Aug 13 '22

Native Texan here, we are trying our best to abort the Abbott abomination.

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u/Destituted Aug 13 '22

I am actually sad that AZ got lumped in with FL and TX, AZ does not want to secede! How else are we going to get water in 15 years??

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u/ReticentRedhead Aug 13 '22

The cities in TX don’t want to secede, either.

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u/puppyxguts Aug 13 '22

When I've dreamed of slicing up the US into different countries so that all this madness would stop, I always imagine a voucher program to be able to move once where you'd like. All the more legit leftists/progressive people can have one country, libs and centrists can have another, and the racists/qanon garbage people can have their dumb slab. Everyone can move where it makes the most sense for them. So many people forget there are many, many southern folk and people in these more conservative states who are not conservative at all and are Hella marginalized. The largest percentage of lgbtq folks live in the south.

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u/CY-B3AR Aug 13 '22

I would ask we scoop out all the major cities in Texas to stay in the Union. United Texas or some shit, idk. All the rural counties with low populations can go fuck off and become walking surprised Pikachus when their "great new country of Texas" collapses and becomes a failed state within months. What? Didn't count on the US sanctioning the fuck out your cool new country? Shame.

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u/MacGregor_Rose Aug 13 '22

More like "didn't count pn your new "country" being absolutely incompetent without the feds?"

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u/livinginfutureworld Aug 13 '22

Best start by quit electing wackos.

Y'alls Republican primary was a qanon nutcase festival

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u/MrC-147 Aug 13 '22

I'm really hoping that means they are less likely to be elected. We have a surprising amount of independents but they vote more "fuck government" so I'm not convinced that is what will happen. But I can hope

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u/westvalleythings Aug 13 '22

Trust when I say Democrats here are furious about this.

There is such a huge gap between parties. Katie Hobbs could not be more different than Kari Lake.

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u/oceanleap Aug 13 '22

Can you say Social Security?

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u/1000Airplanes Aug 13 '22

Do we let them secede or do we pull a Lincoln on them?

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u/SusanAkita2014 Aug 13 '22

Let them go and see how stupid that idea is

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u/drakeftmeyers Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Like the 13 year old with no money that wants to run away. Stay within eye sight of them but let them fail.

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u/1000Airplanes Aug 13 '22

Iirc, Lincoln felt if they were allowed to secede, then the entire country would collapse. Our Constitution was no longer valid.

I agree that this time we become a union of 47 states. And a good opportunity to heavily edit the Constitution.

ps. And perhaps a great financial benefit. Guess which states will collapse first under the increasing pressure of Climate Change. And guess which borders are going to be stressed in handling refugees from countries that are starving due to CC

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u/AintIGR8 Aug 13 '22

44 states time to consolidate the Carolina’s, Virginia’s and Dakota’s

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u/AugustineTriggia Aug 13 '22

Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming too. Collectively there's at least five people there.

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u/sniperhare Aug 13 '22

Hey now, Florida is purple. DeSantis "won" by 40k.

Millions of us here are sick of the GOP.

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u/Thicc_Sludge Aug 13 '22

Especially with as much of an older population as all three states have. Easy fix: Fox "News" will blame minorities for taking away those benefits...

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u/Christichicc Aug 13 '22

Seeing as I live in one of those states, that is not something I wish to see. I’m disabled. People like me will die first, and it wont start affecting the asshats until the rest of us suffer first.

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u/boundegar Aug 13 '22

Are these the same states that seceded when we elected a Black President? Or just the ones that seceded when Trump lost?

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u/devilsbard Aug 13 '22

They’d find out that guns can’t get their mom’s air conditioning to work.

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u/meannrmustard66 Aug 13 '22

The only thing that can stop a bad air conditioner is a good air conditioner with guns

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u/Tails9429 Aug 13 '22

"Try shootin it again!" BANG "Nope" "Hmmmmm. How bout shooting it?" BANG "Still nothing." "Well, heck! I'm plum all outta idears!"

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u/trtreeetr Aug 13 '22

"The fire is shooting at us"

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

Or the power grid for that matter

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

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u/Jdsnut Aug 13 '22

Honestly as someone who leans progressive, having guns seems like a good idea. These people are fucking crazy.

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u/CapTexAmerica Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

There are two types of Texans. Armed republicans, and armed democrats.

The biggest difference between us is that the democrats don’t make it our whole personality. We still have a shitload of ammo…it’s just that no one knows it because we aren’t fucking idiots. “Oh, your truck with the giant ‘MOLON LABE’ and ‘COME AND TAKE IT’ stickers all over it got broken into? I wonder what they were looking for…”

More like MORON LABIA.

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u/LimerickVaria Aug 13 '22

Can we get a Texas democrat who makes their platform on having just as many if not more guns than their Pubb opponent?

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u/TendingTheirGarden Aug 13 '22

Just like the first time lol, they love acting like they have an independence streak when all they’ve done is build a failed state that required the support of a larger national government.

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

Every time.

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u/ShitHouseMcTits Aug 13 '22

“We changed our minds we want to come home”

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u/EricNCSU Aug 13 '22 Silver

Make Texas Mexico again!

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u/Hopeful_Bit1733 Aug 13 '22

Call it "Texaco" sponsored by the fuel company

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

It'll be the first time that there's decent healthcare in decades for Texas or the land formerly known as Texas.

Edit

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u/killarnivore2 Aug 13 '22

Mexico wants that wall.

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u/Grimzod1971 Aug 13 '22

And Texas need that sweet federal govt handout to survive esp when the military withdraws, and nasa, and half the economy here collapses.

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

More than half. Lots of government contract work poof gone.

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u/TheTaffyMan Aug 13 '22 Silver Helpful LOVE!

Full stop for a sec

Its genuinely terrifying and depressing that despite the overwhelming, insurmountable evidence against Trump, especially with how clearly crooked and egotistical he is, people are defending him to their dying breaths like he is the saviour of the USA

We genuinely have a one for the history books type of fanatical and ignorant opposition in this country. This is unprecedented for the US since legitimately the civil war.

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u/vasheerip Aug 13 '22

My grandfather wont believe it till he is convicted in court, my grandmother wont ever believe it because "trump banned aborion, doing the lords work and they are punishing him for it"

The hills people choose to die on.

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u/chaoz2030 Aug 13 '22

Trump is convicted in a court of law

" That judge was a Democrat that has it out for Trump!"

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u/WKGokev Aug 13 '22

Trump could confess and they'd STILL deny he did anything. I asked one " who WILL you believe? If he DID do something wrong, who will you BELIEVE?". They had no answer.

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u/GreatStateOfSadness Aug 13 '22

If it's anything like what we've seen in the past, it usually goes like this:

Them: "We'll if he did do it then it would be completely unforgivable, but he didn't do it."

Trump: "Of course I did it!"

Them: "Well I'm sure he had a perfectly good reason to do it, then."

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u/jarob326 Aug 13 '22 Silver Helpful

The Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

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u/The_Flurr Aug 13 '22

"And Obama did it too"

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u/justadrtrdsrvvr Aug 13 '22

Hillary moves puppy out of the road, inadvertently putting the puppy in the opposite side from the mother.

"Hillary takes puppy away from mother!!**!"

Trump runs over whole litter of puppies.

"He was busy, in a hurry. Puppies shouldn't be in the street. Democrats must have put them there to try to make him look bad. There are too many puppies in the world anyway."

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u/jv371 Aug 13 '22

The FBI planted those puppies!!!

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u/famous-rich-person Aug 13 '22

fuck i usually hate these dumbass generalizations but this is so unbelievably accurate

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u/mregg000 Aug 13 '22

“If he did do it, it wasn’t that bad,” is where we seem to be right now.

That or, “if he did do it, ‘x did worse, so it’s really your fault, ‘.

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u/Diredr Aug 13 '22

"Okay so Trump wanted to sell classified documents about nuclear weapons... so being a businessman is against the law now? Fucking snowflakes. Meanwhile Hilary is still running her child trafficking ring under a pizzeria but none of you sheeples will do anything about it because you only believe in fake news. None of you care about children.

Now excuse me, I have to go vote for the party that wants to force a 10 year old rape victim to give birth, and that votes against accessible medication and lunches for school kids".

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u/FerretsAteMyToes Aug 13 '22

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?" Trump remarked at a campaign stop at Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa. "It's, like, incredible."

He wasn't fucking lying

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u/Wander-Wench Aug 13 '22

For once.

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u/teufels4hunde Aug 13 '22

Ive said for years Trump could rape and murder a child on WH lawn with tv cameras broadcasting the whole thing and he wouldnt lose supporters.

They would blame the child..

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u/Isellmetal Aug 13 '22

There’s people who believe the current president is an actor, that trump is still in power and that day to day Govt proceedings are being faked on a film set.

Enough said, mf’s are crazy these days.

Like I lean to the right but this whole fanaticism over the last election is bat shit crazy

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u/ArcadianMess Aug 13 '22

Those are Olympic level mental gymnastics... Good God.

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u/GeekChick85 Aug 13 '22

Trump has likely paid for many abortions in his life. He is a dirty man (because he cheat on his wives)

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u/tatanka01 Aug 13 '22

You mean that guy who was raw-dogging a porn star while his third wife was giving birth to his fifth child?

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u/schu2470 Aug 13 '22

A paragon of faith and morality. Good ol’ fashioned family values.

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u/Tots2Hots Aug 13 '22

They justify that saying "some tools are dirty and hard to use but you need them to get the job done."

This is literally how they justify supporting the man.

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u/DTO73 Aug 13 '22

That’s what I don’t get at all, my ultra-religious grandma used to send emails saying Trump cries at night carrying the weight of the US on this shoulders. I would always point out the 10 commandments in which he broke many of them openly for America to see- and she wouldn’t bat an eye - but then I say the word Shit in a conversation and she is convinced I’m going to hell for swearing.

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u/Cute_Committee6151 Aug 13 '22

What great gift it is for politicians to keep the voting folk stupid

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u/dontbelikeyou Aug 13 '22

Trump is like the statue of liberty for the xenophobia and sexual harassment cloaked as banter that dominated the 20th century. They will defend him to the end because he is pretty much the last icon legitimising their awful views that almost no public figure would have considered uttering in the 21st century.

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u/twisted7ogic Aug 13 '22 Helpful

Pure evil as it was, the Southerners fighting over slavery at least had a economical motive. There is some rationality there.

This now? I don't know what this death cult motivation is. Their motives are to make the world as bad possible before everyone is dead? Like some kind of social murder-suicide? They are pyromaniacs wanting to burn down the house with them still in it.

There is no rationality, its a mass personality disorder.

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u/booksthor Aug 13 '22

The goal is to enact white Christian supremacist policy and make sure that no one ever gets any form of support or assistance that they themselves didn't.

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u/twisted7ogic Aug 13 '22

Almost. They want support and assistance, but just for them and none for others.

This is why they rail against socialised anything. It implies a society that want to be fair to all people. They want an unfair society where "us" has it better than "them"

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u/browsing4stuff Aug 13 '22

Hell, they get so bloodthirsty they don’t even give a fuck if what they vote for actively hurts themselves as long as it hurts “them”. It’s unreal how spiteful for the sake of being spiteful these pricks are.

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u/AdInfinite5781 Aug 13 '22

I hate MAGA. I wish we could label them terrorists and strip their right to vote and own a gun.

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u/EstusFIask Aug 13 '22

It's sad how a politician being investigated is inciting more reaction than kids being shot at school.

The latter is "crisis actors", but the former is "tyranny".

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u/devilsbard Aug 13 '22 Wholesome

Promise?

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

I'm still waiting for them to keep their promise of leaving after the last election.

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u/Extrovert_89 Aug 13 '22

Texas has run that "secede from the US" petition several election cycles...It's not likely.

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u/TRAUMAjunkie Aug 13 '22

It's in their republican party's official platform

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u/Cauliflower-Easy Aug 13 '22

Aren’t Republicans true “patriots” it doesn’t seem very patriotic to secede

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u/Poltras Aug 13 '22

They’re confusing patriotism with nationalism all the time.

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u/LazyDro1d Aug 13 '22

An easy mistake for a fascist to make

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u/FunHovercraft2112 Aug 13 '22 Silver Wholesome Seal of Approval

Please proceed. Then maybe the money from Blue cities and states can go towards progress instead of supporting the poorest states and counties in the country that want to force their religious dogma on the rest of us.

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u/the_homefry Aug 13 '22

Seriously. The amount of money places like CA and NYC give to support these states that want to leave is absurd. Hate on CA all you want, but those states would be effed without ole Hollywood money bags over here.

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u/taylorbagel14 Aug 13 '22

Don’t forget the tech billionaires!!!

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u/SniffUmaMuffins Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Silver Gold

Seriously, the USA would be immeasurably better without red states holding us back. We could finally have socialized healthcare, stronger infrastructure, ironclad civil rights, police accountability, well funded schools, term limits, campaign reform, no electoral college, nationwide vote by mail, ranked choice voting, sensible gun laws… holy crap it would be incredible

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u/Cauliflower-Easy Aug 13 '22

So the American dream would be true for once …..

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u/radelix Aug 13 '22

Grabs popcorn, waves bye from porch.

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u/jmdunkle Aug 13 '22

Maybe she should consider what happened the last time a bunch of racist babies tried to secede

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

So we have pro-treason states now?

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u/GeekynGlorious Aug 13 '22

I grew up in and have lived in the U.S.A. South all of my life. Multiple states. I cannot possibly count the number of times that I have heard, "We did it once, we'll do it again." It being secession.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

But ... They didn't do it once.

They tried, they failed. They haven't stopped crying about it for the past 150 years.

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u/TiresareHeavy83 Aug 13 '22 Table Slap

The south will TRY again.

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u/leftynate11 Aug 13 '22

The problem is their cities wouldn’t go with them. You’d have war within states. They couldn’t coordinate enough to actually succeed. Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis, Louisville (if you consider KY south). I’m familiar with those, and they are not right-leaning.

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u/crochetmaniac Aug 13 '22

In Texas v. White (1869), the Supreme Court ruled unilateral secession unconstitutional, while commenting that revolution or consent of the states could lead to a successful secession. (Wikipedia)

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u/Lil_Artemis_92 Aug 13 '22

🎵Get down! Get down, children, get down! ‘Cause the South gonna do it again!🎵

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u/Wismuth_Salix Aug 13 '22

Unironically yes.

The Texas GOP platform literally calls for secession.

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u/BathtubGin01 Aug 13 '22

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

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u/Morbys Aug 13 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Please do, then you’ll realize how much a leech you are on the economy

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u/SpecificJunket8083 Aug 13 '22

Kudos for calling it secede instead of succeed like the rest of the brain dead, ignorant cultists.

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u/Te_Quiero_Puta Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Helpful

Successfully succeeding at seceding.

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u/Yhelta1 Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Defeated Eureka! Powerups Comment

Go ahead. We dare you. The double dog dare you motherfucker. Secede. See how long your states last without their government money or services.

Edit: Holy crap! Thanks for the Platinum kind stranger

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u/DeerDiarrhea Aug 13 '22

Imagine Texas has to institute a state income tax. The statehouse would be on fire within a day. The whole thing would collapse over a weekend.

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u/Snoo_26884 Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22 Take My Energy Starry

Right after they floated the idea of secession, their power grid failed during a blizzard and they were asking the Fed for money. It’s ridiculously childish.

Like a teenager fighting for their independence, then calling Mom from jail.

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u/MinnyRawks Aug 13 '22

Fuck you mom, I’m moving out!

Hey mom, will you pay rent? I can’t afford it.

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u/slithe_sinclair Aug 13 '22

As a Texan attempting to leave the state, I genuinely hope this state does attempt to secede. Or better yet, use that clause that allows Texas to be split into multiple smaller states. Kick yourself in the ass and give the chance for more democratic areas to actually have a voice, that way you still lose votes in Congress.

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u/sushisection Aug 13 '22

holy shit could you imagine if dfw, austin, houston formed a bloc and left the rural areas to fend for themselves.

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u/DeepTakeGuitar Aug 13 '22

I will (learn to) tolerate Dallas for that to happen

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u/spf57 Aug 13 '22

Texit? Yea I imagine they’d all vote for it like brexit and then really really wish they hadn’t.

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u/DissociatedOne Aug 13 '22

Haha Texit's got my vote. A New Mexico Border wall has my support too. I've heard Texas will even pay for it.

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u/Levibarbiff Aug 13 '22

If Texas Seceded it would become a Narco state in a month. The Cartels would take over, without the help of federal troops and enforcement agencies and money Texas is a paper tiger waiting for a kid with matches.

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u/unknownemoji Aug 13 '22

My big truck says otherw—
WHERE”S MY TRUCK!!

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u/ComfortableNumb9669 Aug 13 '22

Republicans actually believe they'll take control of the military when they try to leave, and that they'll just use it to "destroy the libs". A very common fantasy among this cult is that the US military can just instantly obliterate any opposition without a scratch, but I also doubt they've heard of the rice farmers.

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u/BornNeat9639 Aug 13 '22

Please let us refugees get out first.

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u/obtuse_bluebird Aug 13 '22

I think if it a repub’s idea, it would be fine. I have been informed it’s about winning. Not about values. And with my family back home, I think my poor anecdotal evidence supports that stereotype.

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u/Glum_Influence2050 Aug 13 '22

They’re seriously so dumb, I’m honestly ready to see them leave lol. Stop whining you crybabies

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u/sneakyburrito Aug 13 '22

I know I would be SO triggered if they did. Just - a quivering snowflake. I sure hope they don’t. That would just be so awful.

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u/Fena-Ashilde Aug 13 '22

How would we ever survive without them? We’d have no guns and nobody to run our businesses. All Liberals would die, if they seceded. That’d sure show us.

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u/LambeauLeapt Aug 13 '22

This sequence of replies will get screenshot and posted unironically in r/conservative.

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u/Socram209 Aug 13 '22

Thanks a lot! My iq dropped after I clicked on that link 😂

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u/bernie_manziel Aug 13 '22

it would be terrible, we wouldn’t even know what to do with the surplus of federal tax money we’d suddenly have. could you imagine all the free healthcare and accessible housing programs?

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u/Bluvsnatural Aug 13 '22

Being from one of those states that: 1. Pays more than we get back 2. That actually WANTS to preserve democracy

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

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u/SwvellyBents Aug 13 '22

Hmmm, I wonder what the secessionist states will call themselves?

Too bad 'A Confederacy of Dunces' was already taken.

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u/An_Squirrel Aug 13 '22

They won't exist very long so I don't think they'll get to really have a name.

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u/puppppies Aug 13 '22

Perhaps a ‘Basket of Deplorables.’

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u/beetsofmine Aug 13 '22

I can't believe this fucking buffoon is what we are fighting over. It's a fucking lost cause. Dude should be in prison, let's move the fuck on.

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u/streetlight_wizard Aug 13 '22

Right? Of all things to plunge a nation of millions into civil war it’s Trump? What the fuck do people see in Trump that makes them so fanatical? Is being a selfish bastard such an admirable quality?

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u/Music19773 Aug 13 '22

Honestly, I’m so sick of some of the deep red states threats to leave the U.S. that I would actually smile as they left. I wonder how they will last with only their own economy to rely on…

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u/Apple_butters12 Aug 13 '22

In Florida’s case, not long. Especially once social security gets cut, and hurricane season blows through. Also they are making the assumption their sports teams won’t get cut out of their respective leagues as well

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u/BBGettyMcclanahan Aug 13 '22

At that point Disney will be the breadwinner for Florida lol

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u/CadillacDale Aug 13 '22 edited Aug 13 '22

Let'em try.

1). they can't. There are mechanisms in place after the first civil war that would remove the people in office that made the attempt and prosecute them in federal court before any state could actually successfully leave the union.

2). even if they could, the states that would consider it are so financially subsidized through the federal government - by way of the states that produce the GDP that pay their bills - they wouldn't be able run a functional economy without it.

The political leaders in these states know that. They use secession as means of political posturing to rile up the dusty, uneducated white people that make up their base to go to the polls and re-elect them. No state senator, governor or federal official is actually stupid enough to attempt secession from the union (which would have to be done by force) and forfeit the dollars that subsidize their paycheck and the resources from the federal government that keep them in office.

Counter-point, of course: never say never. Which.. yeah good point.

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u/Zealousideal_Ebb6177 Aug 13 '22

She’s a hairstylist, formerly of Curley’s House of Style. She’s also running against Frederica Wilson, that awesome Florida congresswoman with the cowboy hats. She ran against Wilson for the same seat (FL-24) in 2020, and Spicer only got 20% of the vote.

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u/daddyvs Aug 13 '22

Does it matter? Their leadership has already seceded from reality.

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u/TheKiltedYaksman71 Aug 13 '22

Can we just go ahead and give her state, Florida, back to Spain? Or maybe take it back even further and turn it over to the Seminole?

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u/One_Support_5253 Aug 13 '22

I suspect Spain may have an issue with that, given that compared to the US their very left leaning.

Spain has both public and private healthcare systems. The public system provides free basic healthcare to those who contribute to the Spanish social security system and their families. The public system also provides free healthcare for retirees, including those from other EU countries.

Abortion in Spain is legal upon request up to 14 weeks of pregnancy, and at later stages for serious risk to the health of the woman or fetal defects.

Under current laws in Spain, possession of firearms is allowed only with a licence, which are strictly regulated. Licences are only issued to those over 18 years who pass a theory test, a practical exam as well as a psychometric evaluation and only for specific types of firearms

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u/ultrasu Aug 13 '22

There’s also the death penalty. Having it abolished is one of the most fundamental requirements for joining the EU.

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u/my_son_is_a_box Aug 13 '22

Fun fact: the Spanish predate the Seminole tribe in Florida. The Seminole fled into Florida from other southern states when Jackson pushed them out of their lands. They knew that Florida, being a Spanish settlement would be safer for them. (They were right, for a bit)

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u/Starswraith Aug 13 '22

On behalf of Spain, no thank you, that ship has sailed, keep you aligator meth managed swampy and soon to be underwater mess

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u/Illustrious_Mud802 Aug 13 '22

Florida back to Spain

Yeah good idea, free EU pass and Schengen visas to Floridians!

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u/SteveBored Aug 13 '22

I know texas bashing is a rite of passage on reddit but please try to remember there are more democrats in Texas than probably any state outside of California. The state itself is turning blue also.

Old fuckface Abbot is fighting a losing battle.

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u/captainbeeboi Aug 13 '22

And then the next civil war which those little bastards don’t know anything about war and no matter how many guns you have you can’t cary a gun safe into battle

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