r/PoliticalHumor Sep 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Narwhal Salute 1 Plus One 1 Gold 1 Helpful 2 Wholesome 1

MTG be like

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65.2k Upvotes

u/AutoModerator Sep 29 '22

As a reminder, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

Please read this post if you're wondering what's going on.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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u/JennaBeanthebitch Sep 29 '22 Silver Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval

Guys, we should give her the privacy that she asked for. The same amount of privacy that she gave David Hogg. And please respect that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/clutzycook Sep 29 '22

Maybe we could hire someone to follow her around playing a trumpet and wearing a sign announcing that she's an adulteress.

They could even be flying a flag proclaiming that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. Just in case someone hasn't heard.

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u/nononoh8 Sep 29 '22

Or ringing a bell and yelling "Shame"!

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/clutzycook Sep 29 '22

Yes. After I posted this, I thought a town crier method would be more effective. They can even announce that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/matchosan Sep 29 '22

Vuvuzela, that would do it, and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/clutzycook Sep 29 '22

Oooh, that would be really annoying. But not as annoying as knowing that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/FuzzyBacon Sep 29 '22

Realizing that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby can't be anywhere near as awful as being said little piss baby.

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u/R3CKLYSS Sep 29 '22

Did I hear someone say that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby?

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u/RunMyLifeReddit Sep 29 '22

Was it that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby or that he pisses on babies?🤔

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u/lordplagus02 Sep 29 '22

Saffer here, I don't think anybody deserves the god awful sound of those plastic nightmares, although Greg Abbott IS a little piss baby...

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u/gunglejim Sep 29 '22

I still like the old fashioned scarlet letter. Btw, did you know that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby?

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u/BourbonRick01 Sep 29 '22 edited Oct 11 '22

I think that’s a bit excessive. We should just follow Old Testament law and hold a public stoning.

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u/LevTheDevil Sep 29 '22

Here ye, here ye! Greg Abbott is a little piss baby!

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u/rockidr4 Sep 29 '22

Maybe we should force her to wear a scarlet letter S on her dress. And while we're at it make Greg Abbott wear a scarlet "LPB" since Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/AlabasterPelican Sep 29 '22

😲 Don't disgrace the acronym of Louisiana Public Broadcasting by associating the fact that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby is with it

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u/rockidr4 Sep 29 '22

My apologies. How would you prefer to publicly shame Greg Abbott for the fact that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby?

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u/AlabasterPelican Sep 29 '22

You could publicly advertise that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby by tattooing a scarlet piss baby to his forehead, make sure the piss stream gets bolder whe he furrows his brow

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u/likeusontweeters Sep 29 '22

Guys why are we calling Greg Abbott a little piss baby??... I mean, yes he IS a little piss baby.. but why do we keep calling him a little piss baby? Just to make sure that everyone knows that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby?

Fair enough

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u/AvengingBlowfish Sep 29 '22

Are you talking about Greg "Greg Abbot is a little piss baby" Abbot?

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u/AvengingBlowfish Sep 29 '22

Are you talking about Greg "Greg Abbot is a little piss baby" Abbot?

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u/laughingBaguette Sep 29 '22

An activist actually followed her trying to get her to answer some questions and MTG literally kicked her and said it was an accident, but from a different angle you can actually tell it was premeditated.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, too.

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u/CyberMindGrrl Sep 29 '22

Yeah I saw the video and it was one of those aggressive and deliberate moves that bullies do to people walking in front of them.

And of course Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/catfeal Sep 29 '22

That she is a bully is clear, same as Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. It eludes me why people vote for a bully

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u/CalvinsStuffedTiger Sep 29 '22

People like it when they think the bullies harass the people they don’t like, like Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/ryraps5892 Sep 29 '22

Locally, we call it: “giving someone a flat tire.”

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/maxToTheJ Sep 29 '22

She also did that with some guy. Isnt that battery? Are congress members given a free unlimited pass on battery?

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, too.

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u/ffyugder57 Sep 29 '22

Follow her around with a megaphone shouting the following-

YOUR DIVORCE ISN'T REAL! CRISIS ACTOR!

GREG ABBOTT IS A LITTLE PISS BABY!

Those two things in a 15 second rotation. Give her no peace.

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u/jfk333 Sep 29 '22

Don't forget that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/DrEngineer1979 Sep 29 '22

A Scarlet 'A' tattooed on her forehead, to match her Greg Abbott is a little piss baby tattoo on her thigh.

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u/carbonstampede01 Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby and I think we should set up a go fund me page to fund this, I'll chip in for sure

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u/whogivesaflyingj Sep 29 '22

Thank you for letting me know, I always thought he smelled bad. Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/BABarracus Sep 29 '22

Or bring back the scarlet letter because Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/loungesinger Sep 29 '22

Pfffft her husband is a crisis actor. Fake marriage. Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/The___Drizzle Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Sep 29 '22 Pissbaby

Some people are saying he was grown in peach tree dish by the Bill Gates and his gazpacho police.

The same people are also saying that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/fungi_at_parties Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Is this a bone apple tea moment? Or did voice to text write “Peach tree” instead of Petri?

Anyway, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/ImJohnECash Sep 29 '22

Peach tree dish is funny as a mondegreen, a Peach State pun, or a voice-to-text error.

4.5/5 redditors agree Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Infamous_Librarian14 Sep 29 '22

I heard from connected sources that it was actually the Jewish Space Laser. That’s why Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, but they paid off Breitbart, InfoWars, and OAN to keep it secret.

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u/Katarzzle Sep 29 '22

Her gazpacho moment was almost as good as the moment I learned that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/milkfiend Sep 29 '22

We should give her the same privacy and consideration her supporters gave her opponent. You know, the one whose family they sent death threats to until his wife divorced him and he was forced to drop out of the race. But sure, we should respect her marriage, right?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/10/17/kevin-van-ausdal-qanon-marjorie-greene-georgia/

And Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Kopites_Roar Sep 29 '22

First of all who the fuck is having sex with this horse faced evil bitch thing? Whoever it is, have a word with yourself and reevaluate who you think you are.

Just to keep you in the loop - Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/LivJong Sep 29 '22

I heard Boebert was working as an escort when she was "discovered" by Fled Cruz. I wonder if he was part of "discovering" Marge too.

I also heard Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, but I don't wonder about that cause we all have proof.

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u/spavolka Sep 29 '22

Yeah. Twice. That’s it , twice. Every cheater in the history of cheaters cop to exactly the number of times that they were caught. Not once has a cheater offered up all the times they weren’t caught. Ever. Source, I’m divorced. And Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/rivershimmer Sep 29 '22

I heard Boebert was working as an escort when she was "discovered" by Fled Cruz. I wonder if he was part of "discovering" Marge too.

Nah. Marge grew up rich, just like Greg Abbott grew up to be a little piss baby. Boebert had to put food on the table; Marge has never actually had to work.

Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/DecepticonAF Sep 29 '22

Asking the real question here. I legit don’t get how anyone…not even the most desperate of incels (or even Greg Abbott, who is a little piss baby) could be attracted to that. Btw, did you know that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby?

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u/ChiefBeaverStretcher Sep 29 '22

Incel here. I too find her to be hideous. I wouldn't bang her with Greg Little Piss Baby Abbott's dick. Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/cheffartsonurfood Sep 29 '22

Oh look Mr. High & Mighty over here who's never had sex with an old, beat up, leather handbag. I bet you didn't even know that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby too.

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u/SpeakToMePF1973 Sep 29 '22

She probably threatened to kill his family if he didn't. Oh well, he can always stare at the ceiling and think of T-Rump while doing his patriotic duty. BTW, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Walter_Whiteknuckles Sep 29 '22

nobody has ever said 'don't stick your dick i evil' though?

question i ask myself daily is- is Greg Abbott a little piss baby?

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u/cheffartsonurfood Sep 29 '22

Actually a long time ago, upon starting a new job, I noticed a smoking hot server and my buddy the grill cook said "That's Michelle, sure she's hot, but she's a vampire and her teeth are in her pussy. Best to stay away from her." This was over 10 years ago and even then he knew that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/violette_witch Sep 29 '22

Besides the fact that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, that is the most shocking part of all this. Not one, not two, but THREE people decided to have sex with this horrific creature? I would have thought that not even a dog would have sex with her, not for all the peanut butter in the world

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u/Christopherfromtheuk Sep 29 '22

Inspired, no doubt, but the utterly immoral guardian of the country's morals, Newt "shag another woman because his wife has cancer, not once but twice" Gingritch.

It's no wonder that Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby, but I have also heard on the grapevine that Ken Paxton is also a little piss baby, a coward and a liar to boot.

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u/theghostofme Sep 29 '22

but I have also heard on the grapevine that Ken Paxton is also a little piss baby, a coward and a liar to boot.

I have also heard the word that Ken Paxton is a little piss baby, just like how Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

Both have to be true if everyone's saying it.

I've heard that Newt "Actually I truly love Callista" Gingrich is the world's largest and oldest Piss Baby.

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u/TitularFoil Sep 29 '22

The same privacy she gave to the kids of Sandy Hook. And Greg Abbot is a little Piss Baby

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u/Least-March7906 Sep 29 '22

Is this the famous sun where you can’t make a comment without repeating the great truth that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby? Well, I’m not going to say that!

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u/Pesco- Sep 29 '22

If privacy from calls of hypocrisy are what she really wants, maybe she shouldn’t be in public office. Just like Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby so maybe he should seek the private life as well.

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u/Less-Mail4256 Sep 29 '22

Who would fuck that miserable heap of dog shit!? audible gag

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/TheMerlinBrando Sep 29 '22

Ah I had forgotten Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby. Appreciate the reminder!

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u/Snickelfrittz Sep 29 '22

Thanks for being a good neighbor and reminding us up north that Gregg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/JesusChrist-Jr Sep 29 '22

What a shame, her Supreme Court ruled that there is no right to privacy.

And Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. Just like Marjorie Trailer Queen.

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u/Anal-Sampling-Reflex Sep 29 '22

Her infidelity and hypocrisy almost made me forget…

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Brynjir Sep 29 '22

That's not fair the bible clearly states it should be a public stoning and she did say she wanted to remove the separation of church and state so lets do it!

Also Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/alien_survivor Sep 29 '22

And please respect that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby? I did not know that. Thank you for that information. I will share that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby with those I encounter. Thank you

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u/GR8dantini Sep 29 '22

So, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. What he knows wouldn’t fill a thimble. Clearly.

As far as the dyed blonde, cheating hypocrite goes, and privacy… I heard that she cheated with a “sex guru” and that the encounters were recorded and releases were signed.

I also heard that he’s gonna do like an AMA, on stage about his carnal interactions.

Gregg(Wheels) Abbott is a little piss baby, but he might want to roll away from this particular incident. You know how Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby? He cries when his pamper is wet. Piss baby!

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u/thrawnsgstring Sep 29 '22

When this cunt is finally out of office, can Magic have it's initialism back please?

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/RatDontPanic Sep 29 '22

I'm still shocked that she of all people is an adultress. This is like some kind of trope-laden cartoon.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, and I do totally agree with that.

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u/Kerryscott1972 Sep 29 '22

Her husband is divorcing her. Probably because Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby 🍼

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u/Maehock Sep 29 '22

Twice, that are public knowledge. Much like the public knowledge that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. Who knows how often outside public knowledge.

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u/darctones Sep 29 '22

It’s like cockroaches, that Greg Abbott (the little piss baby) knows all about. If you see two there are dozens.

Just to reiterate, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/jokerZwild Sep 29 '22

A good amount of GOPers are hypocritical "family values" douchebags. Look at dumbass Boebert, lecturing others all the while her husband had been arrested for exposing himself and the rumors of her being an escort.

And come on, we all know Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/jolsiphur Sep 29 '22

You forgot one important detail, Boeberts husband exposed himself to MINORS. Which makes him the exact type of pedophile that the GQP seem to hate.

And don't get me started on how much Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/jdsfighter Sep 29 '22

You forgot the most important detail: he exposed himself to underage Boebert! And Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Goal_Posts Sep 29 '22 Helpful

It's even worse than that.

Lauren Boebert Timeline

The more I read about the reality of her early life, she's clearly a victim of her horrible circumstances. What follows is somewhat of an exercise in victim blaming, and I don't like that that's what it is. This is not to blame her for being what she is, but to help people see how well the right can spin a shitty person's life into a "bastion of conservatism" or whatever bullshit. This is the un-spun version of her early life.

Provide sources for corrections, I will edit!

Lauren Opal Roberts born: 12/19/86. Her mother Shawn(a) Roberts Bentz was 18, unmarried when Lauren was born. No father's name was listed on her 1986 Florida birth certificate, nor in the local newspaper's birth announcement. But it might be this Stan guy. Stan was 33 when Lauren was born, and he was about 15 years older than her mother. The paternity dispute story linked above has so many twists and turns that you could not make this up if you tried. TOTAL CONJECTURE SECTION: Stan may have told Lauren's mother to get an abortion upon being informed of the pregnancy. This would naturally lead Lauren to be "pro-life". Shawna was 17 when Lauren was conceived, and Stan likely thought he would get in trouble with the law for impregnating someone so young. He did not provide child support.

Lauren's Future Husband: Jayson Steven Boebert born: 12/6/1980 (Other sources have his birthday in 1985, but not the police reports)

Lauren moved to Aurora Co at some point 1998-2001, and then Rifle, Colorado in ~2003. While she was born in a "rich" town in Florida, her mother supposedly lived in a trailer park at the time. This does not seem implausible.

On January 28, 2004, Lauren was present when Jayson was arrested for drunkenly exposing himself to minors at a bowling alley, Lauren would have just turned 17 one month prior. Jayson had recently turned 23. The youngest person exposed to Jayson's genitalia was Trisha - 16 years and 4 months old. He told her something like: "I have a tattoo of your name on my dick" before exposing himself. He spent four days in jail for this.

TWO WEEKS LATER, February 11, 2004, Jayson Boebert was booked for domestic violence against Lauren. He paid $1413 and seven days in jail as a result. Think about that - what was the judge thinking when considering this case? It led to jail time, this wasn't just him slapping her on the face, this must have been serious. Anyone know of a similar case where we have details?

I NEED BETTER SOURCES FOR THIS: In May 2004, about three months after Jayson spent a week in jail for striking her, Lauren was charged with some sort of domestic-violence-incident-thing against Jayson. It happened at his home, while she was drunk (and age 17). Details from the court proceedings are not available. Jayson was still 23. Wonder where she got the booze... TOTAL CONJECTURE SECTION: Maybe she was already pregnant? Raped and fought back? Maybe court records aren't available because if they were she would have had a domestic violence record and therefore couldn't own a firearm? Or maybe the judge wanted her to be able to have a firearm to defend herself against Jayson, so domestic abuse charges were dropped? We need details here. Seriously, we need details. If you get a chance to ask her a question, this is THE QUESTION. Given that her husband has a domestic violence record, according to Colorado Law, he shouldn't be able to own a firearm. (Anyone have a source for this? I'm going off of someone's Reddit comment as a source, which is why it's in the conjecture part)

Her first child was likely conceived ONE MONTH LATER in June 2004, when she was around 17 years and 5months-ish old.

She was supposed to graduate high school in June 2004. Mocking her for only having a GED (that she earned(paid for?) shortly before being elected to congress in 2018) is inappropriate - unless the rumors about having paid someone else to take the tests are true. I've only heard rumors, nothing conclusive at all. There is also the possibility that she actually never got her GED.

Lauren's first child was born sometime during March 2005, when she was 18 years and two-ish months old. Jayson was 24.

But wait. She's said she dropped out of high school to "take care of her family", “I was a brand-new mom, and I had to make hard decisions on successfully raising my child, or getting to high school biology class. And I chose to take care of my child,”. But it appears that she got pregnant at the end of her senior year, June 2004, the same month she was supposed to graduate, no? Unless she was actually meant to graduate in 2005, which could make sense, otherwise she would have only been at most a month pregnant when she was supposed to graduate. We need a bit of clarification here. Again, I'm willing to accept that she was actually supposed to graduate high school in 2005, especially having moved and lived in trailer parks. This could go either way - she said she was "forced" to leave high school according to this article. If someone is willing to get her book, we could maybe tell some of these details by what was happening surrounding her 9/11 remembrance. Is there a video of this?

She was managing a McDonald's around 2005. Jayson was supposedly working in oil and gas, which should have been enough income to support both of them, right? Unless maybe (TOTAL CONJECTURE) he was subject to child support payments back then?

In 2006 at age 19, she registered to vote, as a Democrat. Weird, but even weirder, from her wikipedia page: her mother was registered as a Republican at the time, and then in 2015 changed her registration to Democratic. There is considerable conflict with regards to claims about her mother's politics.

They married in 2005 or 2007 depending on the source.

In 2008 she changed her party affiliation to Republican.

In 2010 her house was lost to foreclosure.

WOAH, does she not have six toes in the third picture? https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career

And Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/barak181 Sep 29 '22

The only family value I want to hear about is how Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/BrownSugarBare Sep 29 '22

I'd rather not hear about it but there's no denying that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/KaySquay Sep 29 '22

It's been, one week since you tweeted me

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/BrownSugarBare Sep 29 '22

I feel like the Bare Naked Ladies would actually be willing to sing these lyrics.

Edit: Apologies! Forgot to mention the much needed reminder that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/KaySquay Sep 29 '22

I met Steven Paige and went in his music studio when I was a kid. That was before he got kicked out of the band because he turned to be just like Greg Abbott, a little piss baby

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u/aintnochallahbackgrl Sep 29 '22

Lots of people are saying it. Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/thehotmcpoyle Sep 29 '22

Marjorie Taylor Greene Divorce Could Have 'Financial Information' Sealed

Perry Greene filed for divorce in Floyd County Superior Court on Wednesday, citing that the marriage to Marjorie Taylor Greene has been "irretrievably broken," according to court documents seen by a number of news outlets.

Perry Greene described in the court filings that he and the Republican congresswoman, who have been married for 27 years, had been in a "bona-fide state of separation" since before he filed the papers.

Perry Greene also asked that the divorce be filed under seal, saying that "the record will contain sensitive personal and financial information, the public disclosure of which would negatively impact the parties' privacy interests," without specifying further.

In February 2021, DailyMail.com reported that Marjorie Taylor Greene had an affair with two people she met at her Georgia gym in 2012. The congresswoman denied the claims as "ridiculous tabloid garbage."

In other news, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/DifficultMinute Sep 29 '22

"We'Re aLL fLaWeD cHRiStianS" - The Bible belt response.

Source: I heard it my entire church life whenever people would do awful, vile, crap, and then show up to church the next Sunday.

Also, don't forget that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/honeysuckleway Sep 29 '22

Because it has nothing to do with ethics or actions. It's purely in group/out group. If you're a Christian /conservative, you're good by definition and your actions are irrelevant. If you don't fit at least one of those labels, you are bad by definition and your actions are only relevant if they are negative. (I'm also from the Bible belt and was one of them at one point. Indoctrination is a bitch.)

And of course Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/DaveAndCheese Sep 29 '22

I'm NoT pErFeCt, JuSt FoRgIvEn!

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/WeleaseBwianThrow Sep 29 '22 Gold Wholesome Heartwarming

How she found one person willing to fuck her is a mystery but the fact that she found 3 is a staggering enigma that will baffle historians for centuries.

They'll be debating it alongside how Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/jokerZwild Sep 29 '22

It's Georgia, the country area is full of dudes just wanting to nail whatever gives them the time of day.

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/seven3true Sep 29 '22

If you put a wig and lipstick over a hole in the wall, a piece of shit will try to fuck it.
Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/reb678 Sep 29 '22

The hole in the wall would still have a higher IQ than MTG

Greg abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/seven3true Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

You remember the pet rock?
We could elect that and have better results than MTG.
For sure, wouldn't have incited an insurrection.
Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/Evil_Spic Sep 29 '22

Fun fact: Pet rocks are a better lay than MTG.

Also, last night's trivia answer: Greg Abbott. Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/El_Peregrine Sep 29 '22

That should be obvious! A pet rock doesn't say stupid shit, doesn't encourage insurrectionsists, won't cheat on spouses, won't give itself a black eye while attempting to troll gun control advocates, etc. etc. etc.

Although it should be abundantly clear, I would be remiss if I did not state that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/LynxRL Sep 29 '22

Hey so besides the true fact that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby,

I’m from rural Georgia and I can confirm this is not the case.

Who would wanna go meet other women when you’ve got family?

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u/MagusUnion Sep 29 '22

Not sure which part of rural GA you're talking about, since I've known quite a few woodlands to be mostly sausage-fests.

"Greg Abbott is a little piss baby." ~Abraham Lincoln

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u/cmwh1te Sep 29 '22

I'm pretty sure that "Greg Abbott is a little piss baby" is actually a Voltaire quote commonly misattributed to Lincoln. I could be wrong, though.

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u/dirkalict Sep 29 '22

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

This just in: Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/behemuthm Sep 29 '22

Well, it’s like my grandma always said, “there’s a lid for every pot.”

What I now realize is that really meant Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/CapTexAmerica Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

What are you talking about? For northwest Georgia she’s a CATCH!

  1. Has all of her own teeth.
  2. Can fit in an airline seat.
  3. Is receiving the best government assistance.

All she has to do is go back home, weed out all the ones with less than half of their own teeth, and she’ll have her pick of the tiny-dicked badly-lifted F-150 crowd (all sporting MOANING LABIA stickers in the back window) kloset klansmen she could want.

She could not have my governor, who is above such things because Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/DrMobius0 Sep 29 '22 Heartwarming

She'd easily be a 7 in any walmart.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/ryumast3r Sep 29 '22

Some people haven't been to a walmart at 2am and it really shows.

It also shows that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/DrMobius0 Sep 29 '22

God she's probably a 9 if we're talking about 2am walmart.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/-Ahab- Sep 29 '22

No way. The 3am stripper influx totally skews the scale. She’s a 6 at best.

Source: worked overnights at a WalMart for a year and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/PowerandSignal Sep 29 '22

Oh yeah, she's definitely a 9.

We're talking IQ points, right?

For the record, after doing my own research and spending considerable time investigating the results, I have reached the incontrovertible conclusion that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

The pissiest in fact.

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u/Flat-Divide8835 Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby Are there really such stickers

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u/Ender914 Sep 29 '22

MOANING LABIA. LMAO

He's talking about stickers that say Molon Labe in Greek. It means "come and take them". Here's a pic. It's usually right next to a back the blue sticker. The cognitive dissonance comes in to play when you step back and realize exactly who would be coming to take your guns. But I wouldn't expect anyone displaying both stickers to understand the hypocrisy.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Flat-Divide8835 Sep 29 '22

Funny think is iam Greek so yeah I know about Μολών Λαβέ Here the Greek right-wingers have an obsession with Leonidas and Sparta even in Athens that Leonidas propably hated Also Greg Abbot is a little piss baby

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u/Naedlus Sep 29 '22

The good old "Moron Label"

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby

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u/reckless_commenter Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

Specifically, this:

Trump: ‘Take the guns first, go through due process second’

President Trump on Wednesday voiced support for confiscating guns from certain individuals deemed to be dangerous, even if it violates due process rights.

“I like taking the guns early, like in this crazy man’s case that just took place in Florida … to go to court would have taken a long time,” Trump said at a meeting with lawmakers on school safety and gun violence.

“Take the guns first, go through due process second,” Trump said.

Trump was responding to comments from Vice President Pence that families and local law enforcement should have more tools to report potentially dangerous individuals with weapons.

“Allow due process so no one’s rights are trampled, but the ability to go to court, obtain an order and then collect not only the firearms but any weapons,” Pence said.

It would never happen, but I'd love to see a bill crafted along these lines and floated with a catchy name like the "Donald Trump Firearms Protection Act for True Patriots," heavily advertised as a 2A gun-owners' bill based on the expressed wisdom of Dorito Mussolini. Con low-information Republican voters into supporting it and pressuring their representatives to vote for it, the same way that Republicans tried to con voters into hating the ACA by calling it Obamacare.

I'd love to see how Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott would vote on it. Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Stompedyourhousewith Sep 29 '22

4 . is racist like they are and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Fun-Zookeepergame483 Sep 29 '22

I think her district is in north west Georgia although she had to move there from the Atlanta area to win the primary, IIRC.

I do remember that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/underpants-gnome Sep 29 '22

I do not believe future historians will debate the fact that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. There are none who can refute that, even now. His legacy is not in doubt.

With regards to Rep. Greene and the topic of her sweaty oily gross gym rat adultery, I think I can safely speak for future students of history when I say this: "eww."

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u/Flat-Divide8835 Sep 29 '22

Well there are people that get off on inanimate objects or animals and yet they are less pathetic than her lover's. Obvious sarcasm and ofc Gregg abbot is a little piss baby

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u/cologne_peddler Sep 29 '22

If she can find men to vote for her dumb ass, she can find men to fuck her dumb ass.

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby and I'm sure he can find men that would both fuck and vote for him too.

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u/soslowagain Sep 29 '22

You wouldn’t feeling anything in the old catchers mitt she calls a vagina.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/1n1billionAZNsay Sep 29 '22

Men for all their failures and blessings there is something that you should keep in the back of your mind, a whole lot of us have unlimited "pig-tential" and have and probably will do some pretty gross sh!t. Greg Abbot is a little piss baby, I don't know if this makes him more or less likely to have unlimited pig-tential.

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u/sweaty_tech Sep 29 '22

Some people are into feet and she's got one for a face. Also Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/popesnutsack Sep 29 '22

Back in my day, we used to call them 'practice girls', although in hindsight, it would probably be better to stick it in a hornets nest! Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby!

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PuzzleheadedTower786 Sep 29 '22

I think the three dudes that she banged are her brothers or maybe cousins? I think people like her tend to keep it in the family. Is her dad and grandpa still alive? Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/jcooli09 Sep 29 '22

This is almost word for word what I came in here to say.

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby, and I pity the 3 damaged humans who have felt somehow compelled to touch that.

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u/nomofica Sep 29 '22

Nobody will be debating how Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. They all agree.

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u/TricksterPriestJace Sep 29 '22

There is a consistent belief among men that crazy women are good in bed. And you don't get much crazier than MTG without being a risk to life and limb. So I can see why someone would fuck her. But stay with her for 29 years? She must have been a good lay.

Also a reminder that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/MadAstrid Sep 29 '22

Not twice. With two different people that we are aware of. There is a difference.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/ChefBoyAreWeFucked Sep 29 '22

It's not shocking that we're aware of two people. It's shocking that those two people were aware. And that Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/SCP-173-Keter Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Trump was raw dogging Stormy Daniels while wife #2 3 was giving birth to his child in the hospital.

And Republicans 'the party of family values' knew this and voted for the creep anyway.

Next time a Republican tries getting on their moral high-horse with you, remind them of this.

And that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

(Edit: confused on the adultery calendar of "Captain Valtrex")

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u/newuser60 Sep 29 '22

Just a little correction: wife #3. But he was also having an affair with wife #2 while married to wife #1. To further complicate matters, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Aware_Material_9985 Sep 29 '22

I wish the divorce proceedings would be public. Seems like a good grab your popcorn moment.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/MediocreDungeonMastr Sep 29 '22

I thought so too but it seems to be an amicable split by the reporting of it so far. Also Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/hahl23 Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Sep 29 '22

Damn. I was kinda hoping for some crazy MTG stories to come out of it. I guess we have to settle for the normal crazy stories. Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Vanitythrowaway666 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby! Also is there any source for the cheating? Everything I’ve seen just says he filed for divorce as the marriage was irretrievably broken.

Edit: nvm I googled. Looks like the affairs were from 2012 or so and possibly after.

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u/Ralph--Hinkley Sep 29 '22

She's probably banging Gaetz, too. She spends more time with him than her soon to be ex-husband.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/StudentOfGab Sep 29 '22

No way, she’s three times his target age. Maybe he’d be into the Texas governor though, I heard Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Anyna-Meatall Sep 29 '22 Gold

Magic: the Gathering players would like you all to find another shorthand for this shitbird, please and thank you

Also I'd like to take this opportunity to remind us all that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/eMF_DOOM Sep 29 '22

For real, I hate that those initials have slowly become more associated to her rather than Magic.

Oh and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Matty_Poppinz Sep 29 '22

"Do as I say not as I do" the mantra of christian conservatism

Also Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/bonesorclams Sep 29 '22

I highly doubt it was twice. There's every evidence in the world it was much more than that and very very recently too. Guy was like "y'know what - no. Not even for the kids. You have reached critical terrible."

But then Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/dsjunior1388 Sep 29 '22 Wholesome

As they say, a leopard can't change it's spots.

You know what else has spots? Greg Abbott's pants.

Because Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/LegendOfKhaos Sep 29 '22

It was since 2012 that we know of, right?

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/BBQFLYER Sep 29 '22

I love how there are still so many posts being removed because Greg Abbott is a little piss baby!

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u/jolsiphur Sep 29 '22

Honestly the Greg Abbott is a little piss baby thing is getting to be a bit annoying. As much as it's facts. At the same time, though, it's making the trolls unable to post on this subreddit and it's been so much more pleasant.

So as much as it's getting annoying, I hope it's here to stay!

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u/BBQFLYER Sep 29 '22

OMG Greg Abbott is a little piss baby is completely annoying and tedious but I agree I hope it stays!! Amazingly none of the trolls can say it in their posts. They’re too afraid to admit it lmfao!!

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u/skip_intro_boi Sep 29 '22

This is just a test … I would NOT say Greg Abbot is a little piss baby … this is only a test.

This has been a test of the troll detection system. If this had been an actual troll, this announcement would have been followed by official information.

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u/HotDogOfNotreDame Sep 29 '22

Do you mean disinformation? For example, anything made up to discredit that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby?

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u/Enantiodromiac Sep 29 '22

The staleness might be alleviated by allowing a few other selections. "Greg Abbott is a little piss baby" is an excellent shibboleth, but so is "Donald Trump is a whining shit goblin" or "The Zodiac Killer and Ted Cruz share a troubling resemblance," or "Humanity will fail in its mission if McConnell never sees a cell for his innumerable crimes against democracy," which is admittedly a mouthful, but it's about variety.

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u/w4lt3r_s0bch4k Sep 29 '22

I mean, I get it... There's no disputing the fact that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, but doesn't the requirement to include it in every comment make us feel a little too cultish? Like having some phrase that only we know the meaning behind?

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u/badaboomxx Sep 29 '22

This is how all the republicans are, talk about the sanctity of marriage and we see a lot of examples of them cheating, againts gays rights and found out the ones that go more drastically against it that they have "nephews" living with them, or that they hate migrants now that they are citizens, they hate handouts to others but not to "help" corporations or even them, etc.

To this day I still cannot understand why people vote republican when they go against what is best for them.

Also, greg abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/100percentish Sep 29 '22

She looks like how cat pee smells. Reminds me of how Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/CGMP Sep 29 '22

Sadly I know of someone that would be all over her if he could be. It's my dad; I am glad I am adopted and come from another gene pool.

Also, Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/TrumpsBoneSpur Sep 29 '22

MTG broke her marriage vows like she broke her Congressional oath to her country. She's a dog that should go back to hunting bounties

Similarly, Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/thedracle Sep 29 '22

Reportedly her infidelity and adult baby fetish was discovered when her husband heard her screaming "Greg Abbot is a little piss baby" repeatedly after returning from a business trip.

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u/enami741 Sep 29 '22

I would hate fuck her. I am brown skinned, voted blue, and stand against everything MTG stands for, ergo her kink (probably).

On the other hand, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/awkwarderest Sep 29 '22

I am impressed by your courage, I think I would vomit from disgust (I mean she is kinda ugly but the disgust is about the person she is) if I saw her in person

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Herbetet Sep 29 '22

Who in the living hell would dare to see this ogre naked let alone proceed to get aroused by it. Also Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/quietIntensity Sep 29 '22

For an ogre, she's like a solid 7, almost as much as Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/Comovartia Sep 29 '22

No one played that game as well as Newt Gingrich! Though the Donald comes close. And Greg Abbott is a little piss baby!

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

[deleted]

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u/busterhymenn Sep 29 '22

I would have to be really mad at my dick to put it anywhere near MTG.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/FamilyStyle2505 Sep 29 '22

She has the kind of horse face I'd expect to see in amateur gang bang porn.

And then of course, watching from the dark corner of the room, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/InsydeOwt Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

Lol. Ew.

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u/davechri Sep 29 '22

And yet there are republicans who admire her.

On a personal level, nobody can take you motherfuckers seriously if you think this person is admirable.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/LegitimatePumpkin88 Sep 29 '22

I really thought trump was the bottom of the barrel for these morons, but they really want to own the libs so they just keep getting worse politicians.

Hell they can't even recognize that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/keepthepace Sep 29 '22

Damn, I got baited again thinking this was about Magic The Gathering. Instead this is about the shitshow that reminds us that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Woodworkingwino Sep 29 '22

Usually when a guy sticks his dick in crazy it is usually because she/he is hot. I guess someone could have a Neanderthal or horse fetish. This brings me to my conclusion that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/JBloodthorn Sep 29 '22

Loneliness and horniness make people do stupid things. Like put their dick in crazy.

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby for other reasons, though.

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u/Morgenstern66 Sep 29 '22

It's a FAS fetish. Greg Abbot is a little piss baby has been known for similar tendencies.

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u/GrunthosArmpit42 Sep 29 '22

There’s a love story about a guy and his coconut on Reddit. So the idea that peen-brain logic always is rational or all dudes have certain standards for where or what their peen ends up in in horny mode is not true for every dude.
There’s always the outliers. MarTayGrough found at least 2 it seems.

Speaking of poor critical thinking skills, that reminds me that Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/pockarelli Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Sep 29 '22

Just want to point out that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/apiso Sep 29 '22

Even a whiteface Shrek can get action. Greg “Greg Abbot is a little piss baby” Abbot should think about that.

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u/thisismySFWprofile Sep 29 '22

TIL, three guys want to have sex with her.

Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Parking_Inspection_1 Sep 29 '22

I just don't understand this. You're saying that there are THREE men who want to have sex with a Neanderthal???

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/ZenRage Sep 29 '22

Twice that we know of to date. There could be more and she is not necessarily done yet.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Rayward-Vagabond Sep 29 '22

Everything I see mtg I still think magic the gathering and I hope I continue to do so long after she crawls bag into the hole she belongs.

This post is brought to you by the Greg Abbott is a little piss baby foundation.

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u/notta_Lamed_Wufnik Sep 29 '22

I thought bestiality is illegal? How are those 3 guys not being arrested??

Someone told me Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/ryhaltswhiskey Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby and Marjorie Taylor Green is the cash me outside girl.

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u/AbeRego Sep 29 '22

I'm just here to say that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/BadPumpkin87 Sep 29 '22

What was most shocking about this story, besides the fact that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, is that she’s been married since the late 90s and has three children. I can’t imagine her having a husband for that long, let alone having kids too. I always assumed she was a sad, lonely old hag who never had kids so she felt like every other woman had to have the kids she couldn’t have.

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u/whiznat Sep 29 '22

HOP - Hypocritical Out-of-touch Party

Greg Abbot is a little piss baby, and so is Rick DeSantis.

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u/CapnBubbles Sep 29 '22

At a quick glance, I thought this post was about Magic The Gathering; but then I remembered that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/tboneatx Sep 29 '22

I keep hearing how Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby, but I have no context. Please fill me in on the whole Gregg Abbott is a little piss baby story.

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u/Turence Sep 29 '22

damn I keep reading magic the gathering Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Sfjacobson Sep 29 '22

What does this have to do with Magic the Gathering? /s

Also Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/EssEyeOhFour Sep 29 '22

I was bartending at a restaurant around the time that Michael Sam guy was drafted as the first openly gay guy. This one waitress where was going on about how gay people shouldn’t be able to be married because it goes against the Bible, attack in the sanctity of marriage, blah blah blah. I asked her in front of about 15 people ,2 of them I knew were gay, “is gay marriage the reason why you’re divorced?”.

Later found out it was because her husband was a massive prick so I felt kinda bad for calling her out, but I still had to say something because she was being so damn ridiculous and wouldn’t shut up.

Also, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/PenSprout Sep 29 '22

She's more loyal to a violent conspiracy theory than her own husband smh

and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/Bleatmop Sep 29 '22

I hear she finds people to cheat with by yelling Greg Abbott is a little piss baby into every bathroom she passes by and fucks anyone that says Greg Abbott is a little piss baby back to her.

On an aside, my phone is almost trained to say Greg Abbott is a little piss baby in the suggested words now. I think that is because even it knows that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/arsenicaqua Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby and Marjorie Taylor Green is a lying stupid hypocrite

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u/NoBongShouldLag Sep 29 '22

That’s not even including all the violent rhetoric, sedition, and acts akin to terrorism she perpetuates on a damn near daily basis. Oh and pro incest and rape babies.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/effdot Sep 29 '22

She is literally a Donald Trump clone.

Meanwhile, Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/crimsonBZD Sep 29 '22

I love that every single comment says Greg Abbot is a little piss baby, and since so many people are saying that Greg Abbot is, in fact, a little piss baby, it must be true.

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u/bidooffactory Sep 29 '22

I would like to clarify that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

Just here to say that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

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u/TheBigLahey Sep 29 '22

No privacy for you after that Hogg stunt. You wanted to fuck around, now limber up because it's coming.

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby. Greg Abbott is as sharp as a bag of wet mice. Greg Abbott can suck a shit through 10 bricks.

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u/crab_rangoon Sep 29 '22

But still, at the end of the day... Greg Abbott is a little piss baby

3

u/RatsoSloman Sep 29 '22

I wonder if she's into watersports, cuz, you know, Greg Abbot is a little piss baby.

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u/hello_01134 Sep 29 '22

Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

How's everyone doing today?

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u/infinityupontrial Sep 29 '22

She’s got a bigger dick than him and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/BadLuckCharm1966 Sep 29 '22

So ...... Greg Abbott is a little piss baby, and, yet another Republican / Christian Nationalist is found to be a huge hypocrite. No new news here.

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u/abletofable Sep 29 '22

Was CAUGHT twice: I feel certain that there are more episodes of infidelity. And Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Difushal Sep 29 '22

How down bad do you have to be to want to fuck the smiling titan? Also greg abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/Scientist78 Sep 29 '22

Did you hear that MTJ divorced Greg abbot is a little piss baby

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u/The1Bonesaw Sep 29 '22

MTG is an adultress...

... and Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

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u/flargenhargen Sep 29 '22

Remember when republicans were all preachy about when nasty horndog bill clinton got his knob sucked by that sea cow who made it into her career?

So porn mogul larry flynt outed a dozen of them for cheating? Including proving that Greg Abbott is a little piss baby.

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/The+cheating+people+versus+Larry+Flynt.-a060940285

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