r/BlackPeopleTwitter ☑️ Sep 29 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 1

"Normal" presidential powers. Country Club Thread

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74.2k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/koh_kun Sep 29 '22

Senile old fool couldn't even try thinking outside the box - he should have just nuked the thing!!

716

u/dngerszn13 Maple Syrup stan 🍯 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

What a bitch ass punk, he could have just poured some covfefe on it and poof, problem solved.

Doesn't he know this hurricane is "tremendously big and tremendously wet???" (Actual Trump quote)

Edit: someone msged saying, why doesn't Biden just think and declassify it from being a hurricane? Simple bro

238

u/Ser_Illin ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Mmm, that hurricane sounds fine as hell.

178

u/dngerszn13 Maple Syrup stan 🍯 Sep 29 '22

Oh, you're down BAD. I mean sure, the hurricane is dummy thicc - but she'll make you wet, suck ya dry and when you're down, she'll take everything, leaving you with nothing.

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u/handyandy727 Sep 29 '22

Yep. Accurate description for a hurricane.

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u/SyntheticReality42 Sep 29 '22

Sounds exactly like my ex.

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u/OkiDokiTokiLoki Sep 29 '22

So can we name it after my ex?

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u/Sir_Mixa ☑️ Sep 29 '22

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u/OldJimmy Sep 29 '22

Dang ol hurricane Ian ripped up my lawn.

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u/big-octopuss Sep 29 '22

“One of the wettest we’ve ever seen… from the standpoint of water.”

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u/eDave1009 Sep 29 '22

Put it on an airplane to somewhere else. Problem solved.

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u/dngerszn13 Maple Syrup stan 🍯 Sep 29 '22

Send that bitch to Martha's Vineyard, what the deal is?!

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u/Killersavage Sep 29 '22

Could have just thought about it and had it declassified as hurricane. Sleepy Joe can’t do the big brain moves. Need a good brain on the case with big words.

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u/AdeptEar5352 Sep 29 '22 Mind Blown

So, obviously we should never do it, but I am genuinely curious what would happen if they detonated Tsar Bomba in the middle of a Cat 5 Hurricane. For those unaware- Tsar Bomba:

-was the single most physically powerful device ever deployed on earth

-had a total destruction radius of 35 KM

-The flare was visible at a distance of more than 1,000 km (620 mi).[49] It was observed in Norway, Greenland and Alaska.

-The explosion's nuclear mushroom rose to a height of 67 km (42 mi).

-The shape of the "hat" was two-tiered; the diameter of the upper tier was estimated at 95 km (59 mi), the lower tier at 70 km (43 mi). The cloud was observed 800 km (500 mi) from the explosion site.

-The blast wave circled the globe three times with the first one taking 36 hours and 27 minutes.

-A seismic wave in the earth's crust, generated by the shock wave of the explosion, circled the globe three times. -The atmospheric pressure wave resulting from the explosion was recorded three times in New Zealand (the opposite side of the world from the blast)

-Glass shattered in windows 780 km (480 mi) from the explosion in a village on Dikson Island.

-The sound wave generated by the explosion reached Dikson Island

-Ionization of the atmosphere caused interference to radio communications even hundreds of kilometers from the test site for about 40 minutes.

-Radioactive contamination of the experimental field with a radius of 2–3 km (1.2–1.9 mi) in the epicenter area was no more than 1 milliroentgen / hour. The testers appeared at the explosion site 2 hours later; radioactive contamination posed practically no danger to the test participants.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtCTzbh4mNQ

I'm no meteorologist, but it seems to my caveman brain that a blast of that magnitude would really fuck up some air currents in the 100 or so miles around the detonation.

21

u/Allegories Sep 29 '22

Because the hurricane has like 1000x that much power. It generates 10 MT every 20 minutes, whats a 50 MT weapon going to do to something that shits one out every hour and a half?

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u/Allegories Sep 29 '22

Because the hurricane has like 1000x that much power. It generates 10 MT every 20 minutes, whats a 50 MT weapon going to do to something that shits one out every hour and a half?

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u/tysc11 Sep 29 '22

Old ass mf prolly ain't even yelled at it smh

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u/micktorious Sep 29 '22

Did you see him stumble on the steps? Low energy!

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u/Young-G0ku Sep 29 '22

I wanna see Biden show up like Trump did to PR. And just toss out paper towel.

592

u/EvonyR ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Tossing those rolls like he was shooting free throws.

164

u/444455550000 Sep 29 '22

Trump: “Kobe”

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u/Young-G0ku Sep 29 '22

Biden will have to do the granny shot for sure. Haha.

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u/Ol_Gristle ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Shit was like a scene from Curb.

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u/Dazzling-Ad-4489 ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Bush, when people were saying the levies were being blown up during Katrina

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u/CreamyKnougat Sep 29 '22 Silver

Shaka, when the walls fell.

41

u/DarthMikus Sep 29 '22

Sokath, his eyes uncovered.

30

u/xof2926 ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Damark and Jalad. At Tanagra!

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u/she_who_is_not_named ☑️ Sep 29 '22

This is also Bush the day after his Hurricane Katrina visit when he flew to Arizona for Sen. Jon McCain's birthday party. "Are you thinking of the people of New Orleans?'

41

u/Damaged_H3aler987 ☑️ Sep 29 '22

3 months after the hurricane he flew into Nawlins like

438

u/ApolloX-2 ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Joe Biden didn't even throw some paper towels at a group of desperate families while shouting "KOBE!"

Does even care? More at 11

232

u/AintAintAWord Will give wife Sloppy Toppy Tuesday Sep 29 '22

I watched that live and couldn't believe my eyes.

Then I asked myself "What would a filthy rich real estate mogul with no political experience who had everything handed to him do in a humanitarian crisis like this? Probably throw paper towels at them or some shit."

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u/ApolloX-2 ☑️ Sep 29 '22

This is the type of shit that would be unbelievable without video evidence.

17

u/theblackcanaryyy Sep 29 '22

Ok but now I’m not sure if he actually said “Kobe!” or not

3

u/Saeedbest Sep 30 '22

I thought they were all just cracking jokes, i didn't think the shit actually happened! 😱😱😱

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u/BlackySmurf8 Sep 29 '22

Donald's handlers reading this tweet to him

"hire that guy!"

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Available-Signature3 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

It’s a jab at Trump. Three years ago, Trump made a comment that a hurricane was on a path to hit Alabama, when it was already known that it wasn’t going on to. Local news put a notice that the hurricane was not on path to touchdown on Alabama. Trumps double down that it is. sharpiegate

Edit: fixed patch to path.

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u/iamcarlbarker ☑️ Sep 29 '22

This is one of my favorite objective facts to share when someone says name anything Trump actually did wrong. Imagine the backlash if another prrsident had done this and doubled down. This act has no political affiliation and simoly demonstrates a leaders horrible ability to acknowledge mistakes and put thise he represents over his own ego.

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u/varnell_hill ☑️ Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

The rare occasion that someone made me embarrassed to be an American.

Man is a fucking idiot.

26

u/Ser_Illin ☑️ Sep 29 '22

I wish I had this level of patriotism. I’ve been low key embarrassed almost continuously since 2000.

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u/CoachDT ☑️ Sep 29 '22

I’m not normally embarrassed because all of these other countries be wildin the fuck out too. But trump was honestly a top 3 biggest embarrassing moments on the world stage of my life time.

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u/SpaceJesusIsHere Sep 29 '22

Joe Biden didn't even look right at the eclipse. How can he know if it's a threat to American families? Coward!

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u/Probably_A_Variant ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Not a sharpie or glitter pen, nothing!

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u/NotYourNat ☑️ Sep 29 '22

Old prune didn’t even think to ask people to plug in all their fans 😡 and redirect!!! Sad.

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u/RJPisscat Sep 29 '22

Speaking from the perspective of the craftsmanship of this joke, perfect.

Now I push back on this idea of redirecting hurricanes with Sharpies: the Tangerine Nightmare drew a path that came towards Houston. No. We don't need no mo'canes. If Biden's going to do this, draw a path that goes out to sea, between all the islands and the mainland; make it a narrow path because hurricanes have long arms.

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